yes hole and weak are spelled right....haha
Girl comes home to mama and says, "Mama, I have to divorce my husband. All he wants is anal sex. My a-hole was the size of a dime when we got married and now it's the size of a 50-cent piece!"
"Dear," her mom replies. "You live in a big house. He gives you a great allowance and your own car. You want to give that all up over 40 cents?!!"
"Dear," her mom replies. "You live in a big house. He gives you a great allowance and your own car. You want to give that all up over 40 cents?!!"
Shopping for Tampons
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl
notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he looking for a
box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the correct aisle. A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She
says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"
"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a
carton of Cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
paper.
So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
fficeffice" /><o
></o>
<o></o>
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl
notices him and asks if she can help him. He answers that he looking for a
box of tampons for his wife. She directs down the correct aisle. A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She
says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"
"You see it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a
carton of Cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
paper.
So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
fficeffice" /><o></o><o
></o>Call 911
Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the
hallway at work.
"Hear what" I asked, my curiosity peaked.
"The regional vice president died this morning!"
"What?!" I asked, totally stunned. "What happened?"
"He was working through lunch when he had a heart attack" Jim began
explaining. "Everyone was gone except his secretary. You know the one."
"Boy do I. She's that young blonde babe."
"Yeah that's the one. Turns out she isn't too smart, though."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"He kept yelling at her to call 911. She just stood there waiting
for him to give her the rest of the phone number."
Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the
hallway at work.
"Hear what" I asked, my curiosity peaked.
"The regional vice president died this morning!"
"What?!" I asked, totally stunned. "What happened?"
"He was working through lunch when he had a heart attack" Jim began
explaining. "Everyone was gone except his secretary. You know the one."
"Boy do I. She's that young blonde babe."
"Yeah that's the one. Turns out she isn't too smart, though."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"He kept yelling at her to call 911. She just stood there waiting
for him to give her the rest of the phone number."
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
